` emerson burkhart-the play script page 7

Burkhart Materialism - Emerson Burkhart

Script Page 7

a hat over your eyes and throw paint with your left foot...if you have fun with it, go ahead and do it. I think Picasso has got international publicity and he's fantastic the ways he's done it... but I don't think it was generated by him at all.

I think he just had a ball doing it...somebody comes...says will you do it...he says...hell yes, I'll do it. I like it.

It isn't the sensational Dali-esque touch.

People oft times ask me...Mr. Burkhart what do you think of this Last Supper that Dali painted that's in the National Gallery.

I said...well, I can tell you for sure what I think of it. Everybody's gonna have a Last Supper. Hate the subject to start with. It makes me feel real bad that a genius like da Vinci would have to paint another damned Last Supper.

That Christian subject matter makes me sick to my stomach all over. This is another one of those danger spots in my life... I think it was the biggest lie that was ever told by man...and boy, I got some great fishermen friends...some of them can tell me... Burkhart, I found a little stream over here...I cast 24 times and caught 24 two-pound trout...I did it in three minutes...lies... great lies...I think the greatest lie that was ever told to mankind ...was...was that I made woman out of the rib of a man...and there's a hell down there...and a heaven up there...and if you don't be good, you're gonna go to hell and burn for ever.

...and the billions and billions of dollars that are spent in churches to continue this vast lie.

Hitler caused some bad things in this world...but I think the Christian religion has killed more people than he did...it just didn't confine itself to the Jews...it takes in the Dutch, the Spanish, the Indians...well, just look what happened at that Plymouth Rock. The Indians saved those people from starving to death one day...then the next they start moving across the country and killed millions of Indians.

Hell, they were just Pilgrims while they were up there on the east coast. Once they got five miles inland, they became "pioneers" and shot Indians...'course they always said a prayer when they did it...once in a while somebody would get to feeling moral about all this killing...so they'd make a treaty...but this was only when the Indians had five hundred and the "pioneers" had about fifty.

You watch the papers even today...some of these Indians want their land back...so we're still trying to pay them off with money that has on it..."In God We Trust."

Here, look at this dollar bill. This whole dollar is nothing but a hypocrite. Just think about it! On the green side, it says to trust God...keeps repeating it so much you get to thinking you should -- or can...

On the back side...and that's sorta appropriate today... is the father of our country. You remember reading the story about how George Washington was a big landowner and he wanted to save his country first...and his land second. Christ, in those days you could find land for a dime an acre. This whole territory we're sitting in right here was once given...at least on paper...to a bunch of convicts in Washington's day...told them to go out there across them mountains and grow potatoes...really it was like a big penal colony and all those powdered wig boys just wanted to get their opposition on the other side of the hill.

Not even the painters could tell the truth about Washington. always liked the one of his standing up in the boat...crossing that icy river in the middle of a battle...hell, any good fisherman knows better...it's a wonder the myth of George Washington didn't end right there in that ice...him falling out and freezing his ass to death.

(Turns dollar bill over to green side.)

Why the hell do we have a pyramid on our money anyway? Much better if we had the White House with a motto like "Screwus Whoras."


But that's not the only fraud...take Rembrandt... Rembrandt did 600 paintings...and there are 3,000 in the United States alone!

I can paint like Rembrandt...or Cezanne, or any of those guys. I oughta go in the copying business and you and I could get rich. I learned a long time ago that I could forge the best names in the business. One of the easiest was Ike Eisenhower, but there was never any market for it...he was one of the first presidents to use one of those machines to sign fifty at a time.

Someone should have told him it would ruin his market in history.

Up at Ohio Wesleyan, they usta send report cards home to parents just like in high school now days. They had to be signed and returned. If I'd needed the money so bad then, I could have charged a quarter apiece to sign names... hell. I did sign more report cards than there was names in the telephone book...think I did it cause I was mad at the place. I was gitting some sort of a reputation up there for painting, but about the only thing they could think of for me to do was to paint football game posters.

I just refused. Told 'em to go to hell. That was my first controversy. What really caused the trouble was the one time I did do it...and put the wrong date on every gawddamned poster.

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